Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Arizona (602)

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.

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  (602): I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house. http://tfl.nu/wmzr
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  Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?

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  (602): Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house? http://tfl.nu/arpl
  Replies (14) Good night (3782) Bad night (477)
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  Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.

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  (602): Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world. http://tfl.nu/z3pl
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  Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick

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  (602): Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick http://tfl.nu/rl3u
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  Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.

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  (602): Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk. http://tfl.nu/8anb
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  Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day

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  (602): Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day http://tfl.nu/9htm
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  I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth

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  (602): I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth http://tfl.nu/7hav
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  hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse

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  (602): hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse http://tfl.nu/qtc9
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  I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.

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  (602): I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night. http://tfl.nu/7hpm
  Replies (5) Good night (1448) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
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  Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!

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  (602): Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both! http://tfl.nu/0dax
  Replies (4) Good night (1259) Bad night (342) Order T-Shirt
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  She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob

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  (602): She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob http://tfl.nu/kuny
  Replies (9) Good night (1721) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
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  Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it

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  (602): Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it http://tfl.nu/5hme
  Replies (3) Good night (1108) Bad night (359) Order T-Shirt
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  If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.

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  (602): If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for. http://tfl.nu/540a
  Replies (17) Good night (1596) Bad night (339)
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  I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.

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  (602): I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now. http://tfl.nu/tbsd
  Replies (24) Good night (2153) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
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  Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.

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  (602): Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility. http://tfl.nu/8fpl
  Replies (2) Good night (533) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt