Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (601)

Last Night in Mississippi (601)

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.

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(601): Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers. http://tfl.nu/38v9

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(228): View more from Mississippi

I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?

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probably "functioning vagina, must touch"

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(228): I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her? (601): probably "functioning vagina, must touch" http://tfl.nu/w791

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Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.

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(601): Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm. http://tfl.nu/epij

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When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.

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(601): When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub. http://tfl.nu/pgrs

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I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.

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(601): I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked. http://tfl.nu/gydy

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Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.

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(601): Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question. http://tfl.nu/eb7h

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Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.

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(601): Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though. http://tfl.nu/pqgx

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He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.

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(601): He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle. http://tfl.nu/m2od

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Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....

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(601): Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it..... http://tfl.nu/aiat

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Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.

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(601): Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog. http://tfl.nu/t7wp

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Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.

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(601): Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce. http://tfl.nu/tk1l

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"

(601): View more from Mississippi

Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.

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(601): I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?" (601): Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success. http://tfl.nu/blht

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i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.

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(601): i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this. http://tfl.nu/9qd9

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You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.

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(601): You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin. http://tfl.nu/p6zj

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You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.

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(601): You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion. http://tfl.nu/8mpu

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Last Night in Mississippi (601)

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