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Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
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