Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (415)

Last Night in California (415)

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My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"

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(415): My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip" http://tfl.nu/8eaj

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If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft

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(415): If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft http://tfl.nu/qde3

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Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?

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(415): Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking? http://tfl.nu/sizi

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He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type

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(415): He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type http://tfl.nu/pqp7

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What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises

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(415): What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises http://tfl.nu/lzak

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There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.

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(415): There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight. http://tfl.nu/58zb

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Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you

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He's CUTE. and foreign

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(415): Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you (831): He's CUTE. and foreign http://tfl.nu/untm

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I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.

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(415): I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks. http://tfl.nu/v9xu

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Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.

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(415): Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity. http://tfl.nu/w288

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I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.

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(415): I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong. http://tfl.nu/jmit

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The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!

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(415): The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco! http://tfl.nu/lulq

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you should be awarded for your promiscuity.

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i really should.

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(415): you should be awarded for your promiscuity. (1-415): i really should. http://tfl.nu/3phz

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Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.

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(415): Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol. http://tfl.nu/dlev

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Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.

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(415): Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/kxjk

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I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go

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(415): I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go http://tfl.nu/rt1y

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Last Night in California (415)

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