Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Nebraska (308)

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  I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.

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  (308): I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose. http://tfl.nu/x4bb
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  Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.

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  (308): Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies. http://tfl.nu/eijo
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  yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time

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  (308): yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time http://tfl.nu/mn2j
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  It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.

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  (308): It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail. http://tfl.nu/m40v
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  i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.

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  (308): i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me. http://tfl.nu/ln0p
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  Without porn, I would have few hobbies.

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  (308): Without porn, I would have few hobbies. http://tfl.nu/e9r7
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  It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low

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  (308): It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low http://tfl.nu/rfi4
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  I think i sorta joined a cult last night

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  (308): I think i sorta joined a cult last night http://tfl.nu/1gad
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  I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad

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  (308): I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad http://tfl.nu/3y6v
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