Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Follow @tfln