Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (224)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania http://tfl.nu/5wck
  Replies (14) Good night (2338) Bad night (558) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!". http://tfl.nu/pw3u
  Replies (8) Good night (3111) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship. http://tfl.nu/ra28
  Replies (4) Good night (619) Bad night (1077) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal http://tfl.nu/8wqr
  Replies (2) Good night (2197) Bad night (608) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect http://tfl.nu/i76x
  Replies (3) Good night (1443) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure http://tfl.nu/kybt
  Replies (3) Good night (511) Bad night (1445) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks http://tfl.nu/taq1
  Replies (5) Good night (606) Bad night (1817) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring. http://tfl.nu/u70q
  Replies (6) Good night (2313) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo. http://tfl.nu/9q3e
  Replies (6) Good night (1703) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories. http://tfl.nu/22b8
  Replies (6) Good night (1844) Bad night (1258) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober http://tfl.nu/war3
  Replies (15) Good night (2123) Bad night (778) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day. http://tfl.nu/yhb5
  Replies (39) Good night (4240) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it. http://tfl.nu/voj2
  Replies (6) Good night (2060) Bad night (790) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney http://tfl.nu/cyaf
  Replies (3) Good night (3513) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training http://tfl.nu/euvl
  Replies (10) Good night (4327) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt