Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Alabama (205)

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS

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  THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT

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  (205): I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS (205): THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT http://tfl.nu/3e0n
  Replies (3) Good night (932) Bad night (399)
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  It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.

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  (205): It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time. http://tfl.nu/qk61
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  You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.

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  Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.

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  (334): You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk. (205): Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner. http://tfl.nu/j3pe
  Replies (5) Good night (1827) Bad night (406)
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  ...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.

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  (205): ...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot. http://tfl.nu/jxup
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  Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.

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  (205): Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420. http://tfl.nu/zl7d
  Replies (3) Good night (1082) Bad night (432) Order T-Shirt
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  So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?

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  (205): So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life? http://tfl.nu/xark
  Replies (6) Good night (438) Bad night (1354)
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  Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?

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  (205): Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine? http://tfl.nu/l4l5
  Replies (16) Good night (1290) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.

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  (205): I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment. http://tfl.nu/97ug
  Replies (4) Good night (1711) Bad night (415) Order T-Shirt
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  It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...

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  (205): It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march... http://tfl.nu/a1hh
  Replies (11) Good night (623) Bad night (1067) Order T-Shirt
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  ...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.

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  (205): ...i'd have to set their sheets on fire. http://tfl.nu/qae8
  Replies (2) Good night (799) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?

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  (205): Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that? http://tfl.nu/yb0a
  Replies (4) Good night (1825) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.

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  (205): No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s. http://tfl.nu/msmd
  Replies (2) Good night (1254) Bad night (496) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  You fucked her?! HER?!

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  She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.

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  (205): You fucked her?! HER?! (1-205): She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir. http://tfl.nu/jld9
  Replies (6) Good night (3465) Bad night (504)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.

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  (205): Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah. http://tfl.nu/ja8i
  Replies (10) Good night (2436) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.

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  (205): I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos. http://tfl.nu/nbvf
  Replies (13) Good night (1735) Bad night (606) Order T-Shirt