Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Follow @tfln