Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (630)

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face

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  (630): Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face http://tfl.nu/tdg0
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  Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.

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  (630): Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way. http://tfl.nu/v52c
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  just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.

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  (630): just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description. http://tfl.nu/30ew
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  According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"

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  (630): According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for" http://tfl.nu/5bi3
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  windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam

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  no, it is just poor

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  (248): windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam (630): no, it is just poor http://tfl.nu/96gb
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  That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.

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  (630): That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it. http://tfl.nu/khhu
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  i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber

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  (630): i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber http://tfl.nu/rpg1
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  Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them

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  (630): Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them http://tfl.nu/urf6
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  after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked

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  so?

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  then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas

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  (630): after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked (708): so? (630): then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas http://tfl.nu/17ue
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  I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?

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  (630): I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward? http://tfl.nu/ncf8
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  I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...

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  (630): I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today... http://tfl.nu/hrqr
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  dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!

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  (630): dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg! http://tfl.nu/jn1p
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  i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...

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  (630): i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college... http://tfl.nu/0xsv
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  is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?

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  that's gum

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  (630): is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years? (815): that's gum http://tfl.nu/8le7
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  But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino

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  (630): But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino http://tfl.nu/qzo5
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