Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (630)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for? (1-630): Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun. http://tfl.nu/9dkv
  Replies (17) Good night (3945) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People http://tfl.nu/8x4z
  Replies (14) Good night (4422) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i have a girlfriend

  (847): View more from Illinois

  if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  no

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): i have a girlfriend (847): if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend? (630): no http://tfl.nu/0yu4
  Replies (40) Good night (5390) Bad night (1620)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen http://tfl.nu/yx2l
  Replies (18) Good night (879) Bad night (3957) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg http://tfl.nu/sw6a
  Replies (15) Good night (1266) Bad night (3911) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before http://tfl.nu/2m53
  Replies (45) Good night (522) Bad night (4791)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about... http://tfl.nu/mp2d
  Replies (7) Good night (492) Bad night (2812) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem. http://tfl.nu/xqri
  Replies (18) Good night (4302) Bad night (1307) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car. http://tfl.nu/fzr7
  Replies (18) Good night (5511) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them? http://tfl.nu/up3m
  Replies (10) Good night (466) Bad night (3294) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends. (1-630): if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs... http://tfl.nu/id4n
  Replies (51) Good night (10431) Bad night (1402)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries. http://tfl.nu/qapc
  Replies (26) Good night (4268) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit? http://tfl.nu/3vh4
  Replies (106) Good night (845) Bad night (12804) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid http://tfl.nu/l9sh
  Replies (10) Good night (2766) Bad night (1108) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do. http://tfl.nu/s093
  Replies (30) Good night (4021) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt