Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (610)

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again

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  (610): ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again http://tfl.nu/ywr6
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  I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...

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  (610): I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library... http://tfl.nu/atq4
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  Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.

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  (610): Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon. http://tfl.nu/dlc4
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  on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too

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  (610): on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too http://tfl.nu/acnp
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  Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table

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  (610): Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table http://tfl.nu/dmz2
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  My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.

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  (610): My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/h8rn
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  i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."

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  (610): i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there." http://tfl.nu/12yv
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  craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.

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  (610): craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus. http://tfl.nu/0q2j
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  He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1

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  (610): He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1 http://tfl.nu/y50i
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  I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes

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  (610): I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes http://tfl.nu/4awr
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  I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.

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  Samesies

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  (610): I can only be a whore so many days outta the week. (631): Samesies http://tfl.nu/jurs
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  You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck

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  (610): You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck http://tfl.nu/4xap
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  connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear

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  (610): connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear http://tfl.nu/s27e
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  doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.

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  (610): doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better. http://tfl.nu/6sgi
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  The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.

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  (610): The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed. http://tfl.nu/1baq
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