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Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
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