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There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
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