Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (512)

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  what did gay clubs do before lady gaga

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  (512): what did gay clubs do before lady gaga http://tfl.nu/x7iq
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  Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic

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  (512): Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic http://tfl.nu/ja5d
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  you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried

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  (512): you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried http://tfl.nu/gu6n
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  tequila makes her clothes fall off

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  wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time

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  (636): tequila makes her clothes fall off (512): wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time http://tfl.nu/mbhl
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  do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?

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  (512): do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule? http://tfl.nu/7un4
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  they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version

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  (512): they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version http://tfl.nu/ectn
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  Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.

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  (512): Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/4hqu
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  remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning

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  (512): remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning http://tfl.nu/4vog
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  after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.

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  (512): after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men. http://tfl.nu/7tn8
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  I'M GETTING MARRIED!

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  YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!

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  (254): I'M GETTING MARRIED! (512): YOU'RE STILL MARRIED! http://tfl.nu/48vu
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  Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.

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  (512): Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise. http://tfl.nu/xhgo
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  At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."

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  (512): At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'." http://tfl.nu/z1xk
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  We need to rekindle our bromance

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  (512): We need to rekindle our bromance http://tfl.nu/aprz
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  They should make Jack Daniels chap stick

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  (512): They should make Jack Daniels chap stick http://tfl.nu/3f21
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  you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator

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  (512): you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator http://tfl.nu/ic52
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