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And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
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