Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (206)

Last Night in Washington (206)

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got weed?

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I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.

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sorry mom...

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(206): got weed? (425): I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone. (206): sorry mom... http://tfl.nu/04mv

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ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.

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High?

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hahahahaha turkey breast

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(425): ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector. (206): High? (425): hahahahaha turkey breast http://tfl.nu/8hm7

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We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....

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(206): We just picked up about 540 lbs of women.... http://tfl.nu/g6wv

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A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings

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(206): A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings http://tfl.nu/86t1

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remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?

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joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!

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(206): remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine? (206): joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?! http://tfl.nu/ignl

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Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.

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(206): Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking. http://tfl.nu/kuj0

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Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!

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Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...

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(323): Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people! (206): Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003... http://tfl.nu/95ks

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Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.

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(206): Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use. http://tfl.nu/b12a

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I thought spray tan was a myth

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?

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You know, something that only happens in Jersey

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(206): I thought spray tan was a myth (1-206): ? (206): You know, something that only happens in Jersey http://tfl.nu/gplq

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She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant

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At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats

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(206): She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant (360): At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats http://tfl.nu/21vb

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He could be your dad!

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We discussed that right before he asked for my number

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(425): He could be your dad! (206): We discussed that right before he asked for my number http://tfl.nu/jztz

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That's when you crack a 10am beer

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(206): That's when you crack a 10am beer http://tfl.nu/ppt1

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My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ

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(206): My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ http://tfl.nu/st4o

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Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection

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(206): Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection http://tfl.nu/mgca

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We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.

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(206): We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that. http://tfl.nu/vyji

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Last Night in Washington (206)

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