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I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
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