Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ohio (937)

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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life

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  (937): Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life http://tfl.nu/0ubb
  Replies (1) Good night (363) Bad night (571) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.

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  Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?

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  (937): Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given. (415): Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes? http://tfl.nu/8d8c
  Replies (4) Good night (839) Bad night (361)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.

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  (937): We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you. http://tfl.nu/h5o1
  Replies (12) Good night (989) Bad night (796)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron

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  (937): Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron http://tfl.nu/gvqp
  Replies (1) Good night (497) Bad night (267) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.

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  (937): Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life. http://tfl.nu/0u64
  Replies (9) Good night (668) Bad night (234)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had

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  (937): whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had http://tfl.nu/mht2
  Replies (1) Good night (455) Bad night (230) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant

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  (937): I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant http://tfl.nu/spdi
  Replies (10) Good night (1051) Bad night (235)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.

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  (937): And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars. http://tfl.nu/ldzi
  Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (210) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.

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  (937): The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you. http://tfl.nu/7sfe
  Replies (3) Good night (512) Bad night (292) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.

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  (937): think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside. http://tfl.nu/fjz3
  Replies (3) Good night (278) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.

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  (937): pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it. http://tfl.nu/fw0p
  Replies (6) Good night (958) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.

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  (937): I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/hc91
  Replies (27) Good night (2340) Bad night (379)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.

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  (937): I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it. http://tfl.nu/wtlk
  Replies (8) Good night (2174) Bad night (372) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have a surprise for you guys

  (937): View more from Ohio

  What is it?

  (740): View more from Ohio

  A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS

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  (740): I have a surprise for you guys (937): What is it? (740): A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS http://tfl.nu/bt31
  Replies (20) Good night (3723) Bad night (334)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.

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  (937): Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work. http://tfl.nu/wxxj
  Replies (13) Good night (2781) Bad night (369)