Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (925)

Last Night in California (925)

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You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there

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(925): You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there http://tfl.nu/g2al

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I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...

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(925): I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year... http://tfl.nu/2wth

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I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.

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(925): I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m. http://tfl.nu/avly

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I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop

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(925): I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop http://tfl.nu/0pj9

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I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send

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(925): I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send http://tfl.nu/fpx2

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I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.

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I still don't know how you've lived this long.

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(925): I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time. (415): I still don't know how you've lived this long. http://tfl.nu/6ttn

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I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.

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(925): I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off. http://tfl.nu/d0dp

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Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.

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(925): Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days. http://tfl.nu/goog

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I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great

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(925): I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great http://tfl.nu/slai

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Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.

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(925): Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this. http://tfl.nu/xd0j

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michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.

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(925): michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him. http://tfl.nu/5r7o

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I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission

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Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol

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(925): I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission (925): Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol http://tfl.nu/zmin

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You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.

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(925): You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink. http://tfl.nu/daan

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she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat

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(925): she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat http://tfl.nu/5es2

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Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion

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(925): Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion http://tfl.nu/770v

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Last Night in California (925)

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