Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia (902)

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  after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.

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  (902): after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart. http://tfl.nu/tash
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  I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs

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  (902): I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs http://tfl.nu/ena6
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  It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected

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  (902): It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected http://tfl.nu/ecct
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  I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.

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  (902): I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas. http://tfl.nu/cu8d
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  Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?

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  I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.

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  (902): Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on? (1-902): I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over. http://tfl.nu/3b2m
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  You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.

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  (902): You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me. http://tfl.nu/23cm
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  I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.

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  (902): I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms. http://tfl.nu/obep
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  I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?

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  (902): I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat? http://tfl.nu/t6q6
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  There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?

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  (902): There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3? http://tfl.nu/qguc
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  Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go

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  (902): Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go http://tfl.nu/ajer
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  Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight

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  (902): Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight http://tfl.nu/n0ex
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  I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.

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  (902): I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me. http://tfl.nu/zjm5
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  Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2

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  (902): Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2 http://tfl.nu/oegq
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  This is why Helen Keller didn't drink

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  (902): This is why Helen Keller didn't drink http://tfl.nu/wpjw
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  He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...

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  (902): He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it... http://tfl.nu/at35
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