Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (831)

Last Night in California (831)

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oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.

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(831): oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK. http://tfl.nu/xtip

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I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.

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(831): I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer. http://tfl.nu/gejp

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My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover

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(831): My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover http://tfl.nu/d6nk

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I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.

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stop. you already have a dog

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(831): I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company. (1-831): stop. you already have a dog http://tfl.nu/bxqv

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It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night

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(831): It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night http://tfl.nu/8gcp

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maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick

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(831): maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick http://tfl.nu/1wa4

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Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.

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You did a keg stand on the toilet?!

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(408): Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying. (831): You did a keg stand on the toilet?! http://tfl.nu/1e43

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we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?

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(831): we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana? http://tfl.nu/g0t3

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Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"

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(831): Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?" http://tfl.nu/5mox

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Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?

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(831): Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21? http://tfl.nu/gpnq

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to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal

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(831): to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal http://tfl.nu/c7f7

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He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!

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(831): He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?! http://tfl.nu/h0ux

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It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.

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(831): It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse. http://tfl.nu/4ove

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she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.

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(831): she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it. http://tfl.nu/5c70

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She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs

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(831): She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs http://tfl.nu/k6rx

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Last Night in California (831)

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