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No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
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