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At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
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