Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Mississippi (662)

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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.

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  (662): Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference. http://tfl.nu/teq1
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  She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.

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  (662): She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list. http://tfl.nu/gj4y
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  Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.

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  Challenge accepted. See you in hell.

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  (662): Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month. (662): Challenge accepted. See you in hell. http://tfl.nu/tj98
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  Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.

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  (662): Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse. http://tfl.nu/b0l0
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  As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.

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  (662): As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom. http://tfl.nu/d15a
  Replies (15) Good night (2174) Bad night (725)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.

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  (662): We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower. http://tfl.nu/o5pz
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  Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester

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  (662): Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester http://tfl.nu/mao5
  Replies (7) Good night (1643) Bad night (693)
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  She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.

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  (662): She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked. http://tfl.nu/ji5s
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  Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.

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  Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?

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  (256): Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August. (662): Dude, how the hell did you become an RA? http://tfl.nu/0n3i
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  We should reintroduce naked Mondays

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  (662): We should reintroduce naked Mondays http://tfl.nu/agz2
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  It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face

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  (662): It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face http://tfl.nu/qofd
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  I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god

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  (662): I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god http://tfl.nu/z3js
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  There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.

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  (662): There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up. http://tfl.nu/6xku
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  I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.

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  (662): I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs. http://tfl.nu/zjd4
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  i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up

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  (662): i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up http://tfl.nu/hogm
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