Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Follow @tfln