Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Australia (+61)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that. http://tfl.nu/nlmq
  Replies (2) Good night (201) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked. http://tfl.nu/a1rb
  Replies (2) Good night (730) Bad night (246) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost. http://tfl.nu/c1qe
  Replies (5) Good night (367) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that. http://tfl.nu/eyt5
  Replies (1) Good night (781) Bad night (314) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins. http://tfl.nu/5c3n
  Replies (5) Good night (1551) Bad night (204) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"

  (1+61): View more from

  I don't know if I want context or not...

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort" (1+61): I don't know if I want context or not... (+61): Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5. http://tfl.nu/jpk3
  Replies (2) Good night (620) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers http://tfl.nu/a2tk
  Replies (7) Good night (968) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?

  (1+61): View more from

  Mobile recharge?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls? (1+61): Mobile recharge? http://tfl.nu/wf5a
  Replies (2) Good night (821) Bad night (228) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me. http://tfl.nu/7l1e
  Replies (2) Good night (616) Bad night (234) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while http://tfl.nu/v6v9
  Replies (2) Good night (441) Bad night (226) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over. http://tfl.nu/0wud
  Replies (5) Good night (901) Bad night (250) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON

  (+61): View more from Australia

  SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE

  (+61): View more from Australia

  THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON (+61): SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE (+61): THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL. http://tfl.nu/d007
  Replies (9) Good night (1219) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday http://tfl.nu/1mqu
  Replies (5) Good night (446) Bad night (664) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles http://tfl.nu/20ya
  Replies (3) Good night (1410) Bad night (275) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts http://tfl.nu/kck3
  Replies (9) Good night (1864) Bad night (312) Order T-Shirt