Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Mississippi (601)

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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.

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  (601): You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass. http://tfl.nu/96n6
  Replies (7) Good night (2119) Bad night (293)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.

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  (601): Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions. http://tfl.nu/sp7r
  Replies (14) Good night (387) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season

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  (601): I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season http://tfl.nu/0ij4
  Replies (7) Good night (362) Bad night (1158) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?

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  (601): You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench. (1-601): Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan? http://tfl.nu/mbl9
  Replies (17) Good night (1904) Bad night (307) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.

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  (601): The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know. (615): My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens. http://tfl.nu/91vw
  Replies (10) Good night (1665) Bad night (298)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.

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  (601): He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT. http://tfl.nu/hra9
  Replies (23) Good night (2734) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.

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  (601): Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator. http://tfl.nu/qsk4
  Replies (2) Good night (403) Bad night (1014) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic

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  (601): Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic http://tfl.nu/3mbn
  Replies (4) Good night (969) Bad night (448) Order T-Shirt
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  God bless us, everyone.

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  (228): I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!" (601): God bless us, everyone. http://tfl.nu/p8dj
  Replies (2) Good night (985) Bad night (391)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though

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  (601): Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though http://tfl.nu/7jbg
  Replies (25) Good night (933) Bad night (2441) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!

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  (601): This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK! http://tfl.nu/gkpr
  Replies (11) Good night (1216) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.

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  (601): No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911. http://tfl.nu/s9ui
  Replies (8) Good night (1570) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.

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  (601): Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers. http://tfl.nu/38v9
  Replies (9) Good night (1490) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  probably "functioning vagina, must touch"

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  (228): I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her? (601): probably "functioning vagina, must touch" http://tfl.nu/w791
  Replies (4) Good night (1340) Bad night (445)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.

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  (601): Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm. http://tfl.nu/epij
  Replies (7) Good night (853) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt