Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (585)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  "I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): "I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly." http://tfl.nu/7n5b
  Replies (1) Good night (467) Bad night (186)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us http://tfl.nu/diix
  Replies (1) Good night (1226) Bad night (200) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.

  (917): View more from New York City

  can you adopt me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now. (917): can you adopt me? http://tfl.nu/i9vb
  Replies (1) Good night (901) Bad night (181)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants http://tfl.nu/sshj
  Replies (7) Good night (521) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one http://tfl.nu/3p0c
  Replies (1) Good night (822) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT

  (1-585): View more from New York

  Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT (1-585): Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink. http://tfl.nu/wawv
  Replies (3) Good night (705) Bad night (176)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night http://tfl.nu/8kd0
  Replies (2) Good night (333) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride http://tfl.nu/ym4t
  Replies (3) Good night (955) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment http://tfl.nu/nqpl
  Replies (1) Good night (831) Bad night (188) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation. http://tfl.nu/xkfb
  Replies (0) Good night (650) Bad night (246) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.

  (1-585): View more from New York

  I regret none of it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house. (1-585): I regret none of it. http://tfl.nu/t45o
  Replies (8) Good night (1075) Bad night (231) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain? http://tfl.nu/ljpg
  Replies (0) Good night (520) Bad night (361) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college http://tfl.nu/6ip8
  Replies (5) Good night (306) Bad night (1272) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY! http://tfl.nu/cmgh
  Replies (17) Good night (2569) Bad night (594) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job. http://tfl.nu/1yot
  Replies (1) Good night (633) Bad night (400) Order T-Shirt