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Last Night in Oklahoma (580)

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My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language

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(580): My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language http://tfl.nu/nvb4

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true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down

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(580): true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down http://tfl.nu/hwj1

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And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.

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(580): And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out. http://tfl.nu/h6lx

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That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.

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(580): That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously. http://tfl.nu/nlfm

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New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.

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....this is what your political science major is getting you?

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(405): New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot. (580): ....this is what your political science major is getting you? http://tfl.nu/c72s

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I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.

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(580): I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing. http://tfl.nu/utec

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it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch

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(580): it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch http://tfl.nu/2vd8

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Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"

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(580): Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying" http://tfl.nu/0sq3

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So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.

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(580): So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep. http://tfl.nu/hhhj

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Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.

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(580): Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service. http://tfl.nu/46gk

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There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor

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(580): There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor http://tfl.nu/zpbq

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Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.

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(580): Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward. http://tfl.nu/95e7

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He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.

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(580): He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages. http://tfl.nu/hdcq

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Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.

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(580): Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process. http://tfl.nu/pl4v

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It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.

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(580): It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down. http://tfl.nu/xmf3

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Last Night in Oklahoma (580)

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