Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Arizona (520)

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  I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.

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  (520): I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013. http://tfl.nu/sp2x
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  Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?

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  (520): Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight? http://tfl.nu/4mcq
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  She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.

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  (520): She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup. http://tfl.nu/0yof
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  Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.

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  (520): Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are. http://tfl.nu/sjk3
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  I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.

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  (520): I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break. http://tfl.nu/xprx
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  This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.

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  (520): This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina. http://tfl.nu/8kic
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  Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?

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  (520): Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!? http://tfl.nu/m57n
  Replies (3) Good night (605) Bad night (318)
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  i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.

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  (520): i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate. http://tfl.nu/utjt
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  I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.

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  (520): I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now. http://tfl.nu/zshk
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  Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window

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  (520): Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window http://tfl.nu/i5wv
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  Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.

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  (520): Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday. http://tfl.nu/j22e
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  Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.

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  (520): Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today. http://tfl.nu/im22
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  Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.

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  (520): Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk. http://tfl.nu/speg
  Replies (11) Good night (976) Bad night (358)
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  Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...

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  (520): Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first... http://tfl.nu/t3qp
  Replies (9) Good night (1046) Bad night (312) Order T-Shirt
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  U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru

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  (520): U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru http://tfl.nu/6qqt
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