Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (510)

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  (510): View more from California

  I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.

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  (510): I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter. http://tfl.nu/hgbg
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  (510): View more from California

  Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.

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  (510): Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious. http://tfl.nu/ftps
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  can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night

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  (510): can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night http://tfl.nu/2hja
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  Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.

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  (510): Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages. http://tfl.nu/67hf
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  It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.

  (1-510): View more from California

  First world problems?

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  (510): It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents. (1-510): First world problems? http://tfl.nu/77p2
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  I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.

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  (510): I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English. http://tfl.nu/sei7
  Replies (4) Good night (1307) Bad night (346)
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  Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.

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  (510): Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism. http://tfl.nu/z92b
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  (510): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...

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  (510): I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant... http://tfl.nu/doz4
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  A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"

  (1-510): View more from California

  Berkeley was the right choice

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  (510): A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by" (1-510): Berkeley was the right choice http://tfl.nu/la9d
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  (510): View more from California

  yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him

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  (510): yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him http://tfl.nu/nlke
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  This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?

  (925): View more from California

  Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.

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  (510): This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over? (925): Quite the smooth talker. There in 5. http://tfl.nu/ccg0
  Replies (7) Good night (3016) Bad night (413)
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  (510): View more from California

  I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.

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  (510): I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA. http://tfl.nu/zpwo
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  (914): View more from New York

  What are you wearing tonight?

  (510): View more from California

  The colors of the winddddddd

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  (914): What are you wearing tonight? (510): The colors of the winddddddd http://tfl.nu/dt24
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  (510): View more from California

  but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.

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  (510): but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/vgwo
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  (510): View more from California

  I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay

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  (510): I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay http://tfl.nu/zswj
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