Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ohio (419)

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  I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass

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  (419): I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass http://tfl.nu/s4so
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  Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.

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  (419): Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often. http://tfl.nu/82c7
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  i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.

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  (419): i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover. http://tfl.nu/0t27
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  we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.

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  (419): we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it. http://tfl.nu/duoc
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  he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis

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  (419): he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis http://tfl.nu/e9da
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  i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself

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  (419): i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself http://tfl.nu/tgru
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  Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"

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  (419): Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?" http://tfl.nu/fz6y
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  All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.

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  (419): All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex. http://tfl.nu/ooyw
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  How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?

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  (419): How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles? http://tfl.nu/1dpq
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  I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?

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  (419): I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat? http://tfl.nu/2nrh
  Replies (30) Good night (1061) Bad night (4069) Order T-Shirt
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  having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work

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  (419): having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work http://tfl.nu/n6gj
  Replies (5) Good night (392) Bad night (3982) Order T-Shirt
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  I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar

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  (419): I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar http://tfl.nu/rxog
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  It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.

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  (419): It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo. http://tfl.nu/e5lr
  Replies (4) Good night (511) Bad night (3658) Order T-Shirt
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  How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?

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  (419): How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test? http://tfl.nu/9rcf
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  this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children

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  (419): this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children http://tfl.nu/wdp5
  Replies (4) Good night (433) Bad night (3441) Order T-Shirt