Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (412)

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  He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk

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  (850): He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really. (412): And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk http://tfl.nu/08bn
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?

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  (412): Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf? http://tfl.nu/41qm
  Replies (15) Good night (760) Bad night (463)
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  I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.

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  (412): I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all. http://tfl.nu/l8qc
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  So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.

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  (412): So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T. http://tfl.nu/y888
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  I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.

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  (412): I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit. http://tfl.nu/xhsp
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?

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  (412): Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony? http://tfl.nu/xq89
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left

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  (412): I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left http://tfl.nu/b3w5
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels

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  (412): Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels http://tfl.nu/7a7h
  Replies (1) Good night (897) Bad night (275)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.

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  (412): wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago. http://tfl.nu/kdfi
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"

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  (412): okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain" http://tfl.nu/zllc
  Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (315)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.

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  (412): Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is. http://tfl.nu/yq5o
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.

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  (412): I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause. http://tfl.nu/76t1
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.

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  (412): You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am. http://tfl.nu/b7a5
  Replies (3) Good night (693) Bad night (259) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  No now I'm curious!

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  (412): My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already (1-412): No now I'm curious! http://tfl.nu/td3j
  Replies (4) Good night (686) Bad night (459)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  8===D

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.

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  (412): 8===D (412): That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me. http://tfl.nu/yh0b
  Replies (12) Good night (1703) Bad night (259)