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Last Night in North Carolina (336)

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I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.

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(336): I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing. http://tfl.nu/tg4w

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This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.

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(336): This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard. http://tfl.nu/5chf

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Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.

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(336): Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid. http://tfl.nu/ga4m

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i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award

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(336): i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award http://tfl.nu/t3kf

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christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms

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(336): christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms http://tfl.nu/f1de

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16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay

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(336): 16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay http://tfl.nu/u1h0

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Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll

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(336): Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll http://tfl.nu/6m63

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the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.

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"people in the room" being me.

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(336): the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine. (336): "people in the room" being me. http://tfl.nu/hpsj

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While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.

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(336): While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus. http://tfl.nu/10to

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okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.

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(336): okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style. http://tfl.nu/uhtz

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i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed

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(336): i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed http://tfl.nu/dxga

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I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.

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(336): I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty. http://tfl.nu/8sow

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1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office

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(336): 1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office http://tfl.nu/b4dd

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Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.

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(336): Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me. http://tfl.nu/79qg

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i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self

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(336): i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self http://tfl.nu/v0ky

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Last Night in North Carolina (336)

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