Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (306)

Last Night in Saskatchewan (306)

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This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.

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(306): This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks. http://tfl.nu/6laj

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For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is

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(306): For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is http://tfl.nu/ppgp

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I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.

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(306): I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later. http://tfl.nu/c155

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We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.

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(306): We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned. http://tfl.nu/jttg

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He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.

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(306): He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating. http://tfl.nu/hhgj

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Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS

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(306): Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS http://tfl.nu/mduw

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All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer

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(306): All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer http://tfl.nu/jur4

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whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?

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Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.

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(306): whoa! who said he's my boyfriend? (1-306): Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina. http://tfl.nu/k1yy

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My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.

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(306): My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover. http://tfl.nu/l5g3

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I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.

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I'm romantic.

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(306): I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones. (306): I'm romantic. http://tfl.nu/dair

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I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today

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(306): I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today http://tfl.nu/t6ni

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My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?

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(306): My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck? http://tfl.nu/wbbs

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No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.

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(306): No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit. http://tfl.nu/ncdk

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Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.

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(306): Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians. http://tfl.nu/ykxr

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And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"

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(306): And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing" http://tfl.nu/qhff

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Last Night in Saskatchewan (306)

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