Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (202)

Last Night in Washington, DC (202)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap. http://tfl.nu/n79z

Replies (18) Good night (1209) Bad night (251) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free. http://tfl.nu/2enk

Replies (16) Good night (361) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked http://tfl.nu/79sc

Replies (1) Good night (532) Bad night (224) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/sklt

Replies (6) Good night (2079) Bad night (218) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer. http://tfl.nu/6uoe

Replies (2) Good night (903) Bad night (175)
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself. http://tfl.nu/zw8t

Replies (3) Good night (459) Bad night (195) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next http://tfl.nu/dw8t

Replies (4) Good night (348) Bad night (556) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now. http://tfl.nu/7dy9

Replies (2) Good night (653) Bad night (182) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family. http://tfl.nu/nmso

Replies (4) Good night (728) Bad night (408) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there. http://tfl.nu/rixv

Replies (3) Good night (207) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right? http://tfl.nu/xedt

Replies (3) Good night (631) Bad night (209) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out. http://tfl.nu/03ma

Replies (4) Good night (589) Bad night (245)
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1. http://tfl.nu/62gt

Replies (8) Good night (440) Bad night (1078) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): A big toe in my vag is not foreplay. http://tfl.nu/p4zv

Replies (13) Good night (300) Bad night (1622) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it http://tfl.nu/syvy

Replies (2) Good night (752) Bad night (144) Order T-Shirt

Last Night in Washington, DC (202)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: