Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Massachusetts (508)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song http://tfl.nu/g4s1
  Replies (13) Good night (3888) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen. (781): I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night. (508): Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street. http://tfl.nu/mnwi
  Replies (25) Good night (1089) Bad night (2402)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her. http://tfl.nu/2xab
  Replies (50) Good night (687) Bad night (3364) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend. (508): i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me. http://tfl.nu/ho6s
  Replies (188) Good night (56820) Bad night (4685)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us http://tfl.nu/w698
  Replies (32) Good night (837) Bad night (7470)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair http://tfl.nu/q2bb
  Replies (25) Good night (2519) Bad night (1224) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized

  (914): View more from New York

  No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized (914): No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes." http://tfl.nu/s64m
  Replies (23) Good night (3098) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth." http://tfl.nu/jx23
  Replies (5) Good night (2771) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs. http://tfl.nu/eq7w
  Replies (40) Good night (3752) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again. (1-508): Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years? (508): Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome http://tfl.nu/sfo6
  Replies (18) Good night (2356) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Are you okay?

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Are you okay? (508): Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry. http://tfl.nu/ztu1
  Replies (19) Good night (3163) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again http://tfl.nu/g8s7
  Replies (39) Good night (2767) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken http://tfl.nu/rlnm
  Replies (28) Good night (693) Bad night (2822) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something http://tfl.nu/479k
  Replies (27) Good night (777) Bad night (2754) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after http://tfl.nu/akdp
  Replies (50) Good night (4533) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt