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I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
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