Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (518)

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  (518): View more from New York

  I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.

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  (518): I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures. http://tfl.nu/io2e
  Replies (3) Good night (1527) Bad night (353)
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  The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?

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  (518): The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right? http://tfl.nu/fa38
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  hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.

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  (518): hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person. http://tfl.nu/wx7g
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  Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet

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  (518): Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet http://tfl.nu/g9l7
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  If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.

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  (518): If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd. http://tfl.nu/04nl
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  That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz

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  Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing

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  (518): That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz (978): Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing http://tfl.nu/v9yz
  Replies (2) Good night (572) Bad night (293)
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  Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.

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  (518): Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird. http://tfl.nu/4vio
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  you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh

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  (518): you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh http://tfl.nu/hnvd
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  We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours

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  (518): We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours http://tfl.nu/zbw4
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  And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window

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  (518): And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window http://tfl.nu/vqxj
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  That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.

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  Who is this?!????

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  That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.

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  (518): That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook. (315): Who is this?!???? (518): That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger. http://tfl.nu/487m
  Replies (7) Good night (2860) Bad night (254)
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  Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.

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  Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.

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  (518): Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit. (1-518): Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger. http://tfl.nu/7ysx
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  You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with

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  (518): You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with http://tfl.nu/vbdb
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  I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life

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  (518): I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life http://tfl.nu/wu65
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  Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.

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  (518): Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try. http://tfl.nu/4xiu
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