Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Jersey (973)

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned

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  (973): My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned http://tfl.nu/s0bf
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  Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.

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  (973): Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer. http://tfl.nu/dm7j
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  i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.

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  (973): i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell. http://tfl.nu/umpc
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  textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me

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  that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.

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  (862): textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me (973): that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world. http://tfl.nu/8ia3
  Replies (27) Good night (702) Bad night (2254)
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  Just mADE A PArabola og urine

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  (973): Just mADE A PArabola og urine http://tfl.nu/uqi6
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  it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn

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  (973): it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn http://tfl.nu/wnpc
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  On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?

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  (973): On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now? http://tfl.nu/9ud5
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  At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again

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  (973): At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again http://tfl.nu/dnym
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  haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??

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  savin' lives aint cheap

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  (973): haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance?? (630): savin' lives aint cheap http://tfl.nu/eb5j
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/

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  Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?

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  (859): I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/ (973): Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room. (859): Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan? http://tfl.nu/hrwu
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  oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick

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  (973): oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick http://tfl.nu/qy0n
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  Plan B is the new Plan A

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  (973): Plan B is the new Plan A http://tfl.nu/yxtj
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  I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?

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  (973): I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now? http://tfl.nu/r8kl
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?

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  (973): Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night? http://tfl.nu/mwh9
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  YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.

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  (973): YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower. http://tfl.nu/tblp
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