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oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
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