Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (724)

Last Night in Pennsylvania (724)

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oh fat girl friday strikes again...

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(724): oh fat girl friday strikes again... http://tfl.nu/rgt0

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I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?

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I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.

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(724): I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay? (724): I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision. http://tfl.nu/lftu

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time to smoke my breakfast

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(724): time to smoke my breakfast http://tfl.nu/9r0k

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I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.

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(724): I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass. http://tfl.nu/otet

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Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!

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(724): Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face! http://tfl.nu/2men

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How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.

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(724): How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS. http://tfl.nu/1n4d

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i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...

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(724): i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it... http://tfl.nu/6i0l

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soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.

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(724): soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices. http://tfl.nu/oyfa

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I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.

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(724): I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes. http://tfl.nu/hea3

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I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them

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(724): I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them http://tfl.nu/zqoq

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So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....

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(724): So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner.... http://tfl.nu/8twx

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As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME

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(724): As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME http://tfl.nu/k5kv

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I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance

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(724): I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance http://tfl.nu/0lmn

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I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.

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(724): I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong. http://tfl.nu/hgte

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Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.

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(724): Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like. http://tfl.nu/trgq

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Last Night in Pennsylvania (724)

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