Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Georgia (404)

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  Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.

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  (404): Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits. http://tfl.nu/2cej
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  She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7

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  (404): She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7 http://tfl.nu/xypt
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  i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...

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  (404): i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with... http://tfl.nu/j0qq
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  He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"

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  (404): He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!" http://tfl.nu/kefh
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  He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.

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  In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.

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  (404): He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer. (404): In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup. http://tfl.nu/9ays
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  We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.

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  (404): We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned. http://tfl.nu/3qtb
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  I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?

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  (404): I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that? http://tfl.nu/s882
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  The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed

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  (404): The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed http://tfl.nu/y06v
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  Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?

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  (404): Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right? http://tfl.nu/zhkv
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  My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."

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  (404): My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America." http://tfl.nu/2jbp
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  NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree

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  YES.

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  (678): NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree (404): YES. http://tfl.nu/chua
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  He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.

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  (404): He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie. http://tfl.nu/bwlf
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  Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.

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  (404): Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it. http://tfl.nu/dkcw
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  Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.

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  Who isn't?

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  (770): Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims. (404): Who isn't? http://tfl.nu/hgp5
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  Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.

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  (404): Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing. http://tfl.nu/acec
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