Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Follow @tfln