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I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
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