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I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
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