Texts From Last Night

Last Night in West Virginia (304)

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  you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life

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  (304): you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life http://tfl.nu/wcmr
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  You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".

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  (304): You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces". http://tfl.nu/rjzc
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  I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.

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  (304): I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster. http://tfl.nu/69p8
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  hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun

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  (304): hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun http://tfl.nu/jcw4
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  I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.

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  (304): I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough. http://tfl.nu/4w8d
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  enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this

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  (304): enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this http://tfl.nu/89bx
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  alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2

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  (304): alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2 http://tfl.nu/q6v7
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  I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous

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  (304): I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous http://tfl.nu/zxmn
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  yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.

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  (304): yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe. http://tfl.nu/4q4f
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  its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.

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  (304): its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god. http://tfl.nu/qi32
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  all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over

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  (304): all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over http://tfl.nu/i61z
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  i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.

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  (304): i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me. http://tfl.nu/6um2
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  just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.

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  (304): just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter. http://tfl.nu/doob
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  what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?

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  (304): what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea? http://tfl.nu/0ytw
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  I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.

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  (304): I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up. http://tfl.nu/ory7
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