Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (916)

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  (916): View more from California

  and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse

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  (916): and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse http://tfl.nu/0v20
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  I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn

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  (916): I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn http://tfl.nu/z1in
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  So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?

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  (916): So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off? http://tfl.nu/zq3l
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  Michael Bay diarrhea

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  (916): Michael Bay diarrhea http://tfl.nu/1hpz
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  awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment

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  (916): awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment http://tfl.nu/ypy1
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  i think i have herpe

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  just one?

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  (916): i think i have herpe (1-916): just one? http://tfl.nu/e1l6
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  If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes

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  (916): If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes http://tfl.nu/yckh
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  How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.

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  Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.

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  (916): How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids. (1-916): Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions. http://tfl.nu/28ax
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  We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.

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  (916): We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea. http://tfl.nu/qdx4
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  does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.

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  (916): does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind. http://tfl.nu/4b1q
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  He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics

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  (916): He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics http://tfl.nu/21qy
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  It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.

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  That's why you should quit smoking.

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  (916): It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here. (1-916): That's why you should quit smoking. http://tfl.nu/xt8p
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  I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here

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  (916): I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here http://tfl.nu/dn5f
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  I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.

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  (916): I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time. http://tfl.nu/hsnu
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  OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads

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  (916): OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads http://tfl.nu/e0lk
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