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Last Night in Virginia (757)

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my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...

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(757): my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'... http://tfl.nu/26q5

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i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work

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(757): i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work http://tfl.nu/0keb

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6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.

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(757): 6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter. http://tfl.nu/kp9e

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You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.

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(757): You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy. http://tfl.nu/hg9j

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There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.

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(757): There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point. http://tfl.nu/cpsh

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if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am

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(757): if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am http://tfl.nu/cj17

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he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.

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(757): he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so. http://tfl.nu/ifvf

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Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.

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(757): Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing. http://tfl.nu/8x8y

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seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with

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Well said.

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(757): seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with (703): Well said. http://tfl.nu/migv

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Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.

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(757): Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever. http://tfl.nu/ml9k

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Come on the kid is gayer than me

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Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt

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(757): Come on the kid is gayer than me (757): Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt http://tfl.nu/ov34

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Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.

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(757): Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you. http://tfl.nu/6xm5

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apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick

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(757): apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick http://tfl.nu/awtp

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I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"

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(757): I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!" http://tfl.nu/94sw

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I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.

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(757): I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving. http://tfl.nu/twkc

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Last Night in Virginia (757)

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