Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Wisconsin (608)

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  you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad

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  (608): you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad http://tfl.nu/bx6b
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  i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom

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  (608): i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom http://tfl.nu/an7n
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  and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"

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  (608): and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM" http://tfl.nu/3pco
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  This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?

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  (608): This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form? http://tfl.nu/l7lr
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  I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over

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  (608): I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over http://tfl.nu/rs0c
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  Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her

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  (608): Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her http://tfl.nu/en5u
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  Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.

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  Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.

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  (608): Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there. (1-608): Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it. http://tfl.nu/bpdw
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  imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"

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  (608): imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord" http://tfl.nu/17lg
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  the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy

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  (608): the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy <3's balls" is written in sharpie across my forehead http://tfl.nu/cffy
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  Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had

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  (608): Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had http://tfl.nu/zigv
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  Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.

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  (608): Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex. http://tfl.nu/iq87
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  We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.

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  (608): We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother. http://tfl.nu/gjr6
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  State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.

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  (608): State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/w7b2
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  How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?

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  myspace Music?

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  (608): How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...? (1-608): myspace Music? http://tfl.nu/kj29
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  hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?

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  (608): hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests? http://tfl.nu/uq87
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