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i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
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